Broken Feelings

By Christian Eltell

Broken, split, a straight line down the middle, down the middle of my face, like Harvey Two-Face Dent.

Oh, the sky looks blue and grey! I don’t know where I’m going, but I feel sick to my stomach.

I’m burning inside. Phone call, who is it? Two phone calls, two unknown numbers, who’s calling me at this late hour?

I don’t know where I am? What is this place? Is it a mountain, a desert, or a storm? The perfect storm is coming down on me, and all of us in the universe.

The verse goes like this: good night and good luck! Good luck to all the animals outside who go everywhere but sideways.

Driving out of the city, too many cars, and too many headlights signaling turns at the same time. Too many cars, when is it my turn to move forward? Bam, bang, crash! That car came out of nowhere!

I run away, leaving everything in my car behind. Running in the rain, from dusk till dawn! The sun is out, and I have a migraine. I still feel sick to my stomach.

I go to the diner for breakfast, and I walk out full with a potbelly. I take a man’s motorcycle, even though I’ve never ridden nor had a bike before.

My mom tells me as a child to be careful what you wish for. I tell her that I accept and understand what she’s saying.

Now, I realize that I haven’t been careful, and I didn’t listen to my mother. I haven’t lived up to expectations, nor risen to my full potential.

However, I’m now reassured, with common comfort, that I will move forward. Not up or down, forward. Move on. Time to fix the broken wings, and fly like a bald eagle.

Time to throw away the booze and scotch. No more shots, no more bad breath! Break the windows, break the door, and get out! Get out of my head!

This disease, this virus, this sickness, will no longer break me down. It’s time to wake up and smell the roses.

The warm water pouring down my face and body as I shower cleanses my sinuses. Fresh clothes and fresh scents smoothen me. Let the cool air come to me. My head and my mind are clear.

I can finally live and breathe again! I do not want to feel broken again!